"Don't borrow trouble."

Don't you just love receiving words of wisdom?

I had just finished dumping a pile of guts in the computer and onto your screen when I received my first comment. One of the things stated in the comment was the simple phrase, "don't borrow trouble." In all honesty, I had to think about it for a couple of moments. Borrowing trouble? Me? The one who is always so sure of everything she does? Borrowing trouble? But I'm such an optimist. The glass is always half-full the way I look at it.

Har.

As some of you might already have figured out, I sometimes tend to have to stare extra hard at that glass to see it more than half-empty. You should have seen me in high school (come on, I know you're out there). The way I saw it back then, there was nothing but good reasons for emotional walls. As soon as it started to look like something bad might happen, it was time to start piling those bricks up again. No questions asked. Batten up the hatches.

It was around the time I started to fall in love with Jason that I began to see how much I was missing out on by having those walls surrounding my internal fort. And the energy it would take to climb up them so as to peer out? Phew. If only I would have actually been able to burn off the calories from the said energy.

Thankfully I've gotten much better with looking onwards and upwards. But there's these times, times like a mere couple of days ago, when I needed to be reminded. To be reminded that I don't know what's in store for us. That what's about to happen might be good or it might be not so good. But the more I worry, the more the bricks begin piling up. And the more bricks there are, the more closed-in I become. And really, where's the joy in that?

Truth? There tends to be a lot of times when I worry about things I really shouldn't be spending so much time on. Like the article I read. I mean, wow, I was freaked out. Within moments, all I could see were walls every which way I looked. And how was that helping me out? I mean, really? There I was, basically frozen in fear for a couple of moments.

So, enough with the stupid sh@# analogy of building brick walls. We all get it.

Thanks to each and every one of you who offered me your help, advice, suggestions, own stories. Much has happened in the decision-making realm since I last wrote, but seeing as how I've taken up a great deal of time writing this... well, I think I'm just going to have to take a break.

Until next time.... Let peace and peace and peace be everywhere. Especially within.